Bar Fights & Tuppenny Uprights is the long-awaited, often promised, almost forgotten, debut album from Soho Dukes. A strange title for a recorded work, I hear you say. And indeed it is. Let me explain…
Well, this is no more than playful irony. The Dukes reputation for starting many more fights than they are able to finish is well known. Brawling in bars is simply not their style. They’re lovers, they’ll have you know. Not fighters.
On reflection, may I suggest that you investigate the meaning of this bawdy term for yourself? I confess to finding it intensely vulgar and certainly not suitable for repetition here. It was inelegant of me to suggest otherwise. I must apologise.
When the very first recording session for Bar Fights & Tuppenny Uprights was in progress, it was expected that it would eventually emerge upon a 78 rpm gramophone record, to be made available for purchase in music hall foyers after every Dukes’ performance. But the world moves on, of course, and when it became apparent that both 78s and music halls were quickly falling from favour, the idea was reluctantly shelved.
Many years passed until one of the Dukes, (too many years have passed to be able to say with any certainty which one), was inspired to recruit a small team of scientists to investigate the possibility of manufacturing some sort of electrically-powered (compacted) disc, enabling the music of Soho Dukes to be enjoyed in a medium offering both convenient portability and unerring clarity. Hearing of this idea for the first time, I must confess I dismissed it as a preposterous pipe dream, such as those one might encounter in a Flash Gordon comic strip!
Happily, I was proved wrong. The project was a resounding success. And having now heard the Dukes’ new disc for myself, played upon a specially-developed machine, (which, I’m told, works by converting sonic beams from outer space into the musical notes we all understand), I can unreservedly declare Bar Fights & Tuppenny Uprights – the compacticulated disc – to be a marvel of our age. And worth its protracted wait in gold!
I urge you to try it.
Toodle pip, you rascals!